i am an ocean

i am an ocean
twisting and turning,
you would groan under the weight
of my mind that remembers

you said french style green beans are a sin
you said it was a pleasure
to talk to me for 6 hours
to tickle me at a concert
when you knew i'd shriek
just as lauren was about to sing

that was the first time we let our guard down
when i leaned over and kissed your sloppy lips
in my bedroom with beautiful women hugging the walls
i brushed back your hair and thought,
baby, you're beautiful
in all your femininity

and i didn't even think i could've wanted something else
that i was wrong
maybe we were the sin, not me, not by myself
cause how can one atheist defy any god
you were not meant for me

you probably don't remember my green bean preference.

i am an ocean,
salty tears lapping up the gasoline
of your temp job at the pumps.