you know

they say you can only find true friendship once in a blue moon
now i know that shit is true cuz
talkin bout it's not me it's not you
then who is it, cuz it's not my cats
not my fish
not the fuzz between my toes
or the dirt under my green nails
not my pretty face, my mannish face

tell me why you mad when you're fuckin up
pushin me away when i get too deep
tellin me watch out, stay on my damn feet
i can't live in a fairytale when my income is 77% of yours
i'm just an angry feminist demanding open doors
well grow my pit hair and you'll be scared
tell me go to france, try to fit in elsewhere
maybe a gay bar or a graveyard

i am an ocean

i am an ocean
twisting and turning,
you would groan under the weight
of my mind that remembers

you said french style green beans are a sin
you said it was a pleasure
to talk to me for 6 hours
to tickle me at a concert
when you knew i'd shriek
just as lauren was about to sing

that was the first time we let our guard down
when i leaned over and kissed your sloppy lips
in my bedroom with beautiful women hugging the walls
i brushed back your hair and thought,
baby, you're beautiful
in all your femininity

and i didn't even think i could've wanted something else
that i was wrong
maybe we were the sin, not me, not by myself
cause how can one atheist defy any god
you were not meant for me

you probably don't remember my green bean preference.

i am an ocean,
salty tears lapping up the gasoline
of your temp job at the pumps.