heat

heat
shuts my eyelids
rests my head against the car seat
lulls me into a greedy stupor
desire
overcomes me, unwanted
threatens to, unwillingly
convince me, swiftly
if I were in your arms
it would all be okay
if I were your neighbor
it would be just fine
if I were someone else
it wouldn’t be a failure
to need to see the emotion in
eyes I’ve never looked into
to need to feel the love in
arms I’ve never been encased in
to need to breathe the faith of
a scent I’ve never smelled
cold
leaves me empty
drops my ego on the tile
becomes the reality
of knowing that
l
o
w
is where it needs to stay

Natasha Bedingfield is my one true love... with Cate Blanchett as a close second.

Who am I, thinking I can blog two days in a row?

So, I admit that I'm a bit of a shopaholic. Well, okay, a LOT of a shopaholic. I don't even have a job, but when I get one, I know that I'll be like my BFF Bobby and just spend all the pay checks on SHIT. Sorry for my language, but it's the truth. I see something and I want it and I can't say no to myself. This is going to be terrible when I have kids, because I'm going to want to purchase everything for them even if I go into crazy mother debt. That's kind of how my mom is. Guess it runs in the family - woopssss. But the things I buy are cute! It should be okay, right? I guess that's not how the world works. Sniffle.

For some reason, over the past week of sadness I've had (it sucks. a lot) I've been listening to an ungodly amount of Natasha Bedingfield. Right now it's "Pocketful of Sunshine", but "Single" also makes me pretty damn inspired. I wish I was her. She looks like one of those girls who went through high school with admirers and creepers and just said 'screw you' to all of them. Then again, I could be totally wrong. I'm just making judgements here. Guilty habit of mine.

I'm currently brushing my teeth as I type this. It takes skill. Actually, the toothbrush is just sitting in my mouth while I type and suck on spearmint. ...Wow, I'm Hermione Granger.

So today is John Green's and Rupert Grint's birthday, so kudos to you guys for sticking around on this lousy planet for as long as you have! Just kidding, you're not that old. You've got lots of time left to be disappointed. ...I'm joking, right? Right. Also, Mockingjay was released today and I was supposed to go to the midnight party last night but I couldn't hitch myself a ride there. I ordered it a while ago and it still probably won't get here until the weekend. My luck!

Alright, so, if I wasn't nerdy enough already, I decided to increase that aspect of myself by deciding to make lembas bread with my best friend, the aforementioned Bobby, today. And thanks to this lovely website (http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=267358), we've adapted the recipe to my veganism and we have all the ingredients except 8 tablespoons of vegan butter. Anyhow, that's not the point. When I was asking my mom if we had all the necessary items, she took one look at the picture and went "Where are you gonna get a leaf to wrap it in? We don't have a leaf." And I'm like.. no mom, that's just what the Hobbits keep it in. And she's like, "Sorry hon, where are you gonna get a leaf. It's not gonna happen." I can't even tell if she's serious. And the funniest part is that we have too many trees for our own good in the backyard. She makes no sense.

Also, I just checked the mail and my mom got a travel magazine with a full body shot of Cate Blanchett of the cover. I stared for a half hour. She is too beautiful in every way. *cowers under Elvish beauty*

Later, y'all. Let's hope I stick to my blogging spree of inspiration. <3

i legitimately...

...haven't blogged since march.
wow, i'mma failure.
Well, let's start with the "since then..." approach.

Since then, I've gone to two Harry Potter conventions - Expeditious and Infinitus. One was much better than the other, but this isn't a blog post for complaining, so I'm keeping that to myself.
Since then, a lot of drama has gone down with my friends. It's mostly been because of dating, which I should've known better than to dabble in inside of the fandom. Silly me.
Since then, I turned seventeen. It doesn't feel any different, and I'm still too lazy to get my license.
Since then, I've had my heart broken. Let's not talk about it.
Since then, I've written better music that's gradually growing more Muggle roots.
Since then, I've fallen for a straight girl.
Since then, I've fallen for a guy who lives 14 hours away.
Since then, I went on tour.
Since then, I've been trying to grow my hair out and getting really annoyed with it.
Since then, I've been trying to be an optimist.

newsflash, people!

Did you ever have one of those friends who you were embarrassed to be around but too subdued to send them away? Ever meet a new friend and become engaged in a conversation for what seems like a millisecond when that embarrassing person rounds the corner and tries to butt in? If you do, then you know that subsequently the new friend drifts off. It's pretty horrid when you think about it, and a sure way to be a loner through something called high school.

As you know by now, bad friends exist. Unwanted friends exist. Friends who aren't really friends - they're out there too. That's why your argument is completely worthless when you try to side with them. It's obvious from the way you speak of them that you don't like them, so DON'T USE IT AS AN EXCUSE.

"Oh, it's okay that you're a lesbian. I totally have a lesbian friend...!"

At least try to make it convincing. Sheesh.

Legit Carolina Hacker Attack.

For some reason when I hit "log in" on blogger this evening, I found myself mysteriously logged in to this blog.

Tianna, consider yourself Legit Carolina hacker attacked.

xoxo,
Sarah, the Legit Carolinian.

snails

As usual, the HP Alliance has given me something to think about yet again.

Stress is a ridiculously popular norm in our society. And by norm, I mean it’s such a fad that no one recognizes it as one. Think about it. Every day you probably wake up and think “It’s time already?”, and then you flee out the door to wherever your day begins. From there, endless amounts of stress are ladled onto your plate from unnecessary sources. Maybe you have an intimidating first job interview, maybe you’re worried about the cost of your dream vacation for the holiday seasons, or maybe you’re just focused on getting into the right college, no matter how many states or countries separate you from it.

In fact, you might just be worried about all three things. And to me, that seems pretty ridiculous. Why? If you think about it, you’re putting the stress on yourself. Society does play an enormous role, letting you know just what celebrities are vacationing where and for how much money, force feeding you knowledge of luxuries you’ll surely never have, and scaring you into firmly believing that no matter what you try, you’re going to fail.

So you reach for the stars. You go and pick out all of these different activities, classes, even extracurricular things - and you don’t realize it at the time, but they’re going to take over your life. They’re going to boggle you down between the mattress and the boxspring and squeeze the air out of you. They’ll strip you of your social life and everything you appreciated before you got to be such a busy bee. And good luck trying to squeeze out, because by the time you do you’ll be flat as a pancake.

How can you be both busy and stress-free, you ask? It’s not possible. Which is why I strive for a life of tranquility and peace, and the HPA just made me realize this. I’m not too lazy or too quiet or too boring. I’m just living my life at a slower pace than most of you crazed folk who are on the go 24/7. I’m saying goodbye to my days like a snail, and I’m learning to love every minute of it. All I need is another snail to say hello to every morning when I get out of bed and try not to yell at my alarm clock.

Introduction

Okay, so maybe I've never really introduced myself on here. Have I? Who knows. I don't even know who actually reads this; most of the time it's just me talking to myself. But maybe I'll introduce myself to myself and learn more about myself. I'm worried I might have just used the word "myself" enough times to be considered scientifically narcissistic.

My name's Tianna. That's pronounced Tee- Ann (the A sounds like the A in alligator)- Na (like sodium). I would tell you my real last name (grossly Italian), but it's kind of useless since everyone knows me as Tianna Weasley. I've been obsessed with Ron Weasley ever since my second grade teacher, Mrs. Cipullo, read the Harry Potter books to my class of eight-year-olds. Until this date, and I have enough high school evidence for proof, I don't believe that anyone in that class has taken to heart the ideas of love and tolerance that I gained from those books. I had already harbored a passion for reading at that age, but never before had I actually believed something so beautiful could be real, might be real somewhere.

Some might say it's childish, but it's nevertheless true. Harry Potter became my life, and the fact that that might sound like the lamest thing ever to some people has totally escaped my concern - but not notice, which is the great thing about it. I love going out in public and wearing extreme Harry Potter merchandise and showing off my passion for the series and the fandom I've gotten into because of it. I wouldn't trade it for anything, not anything. I wouldn't even give up the crazy stares I get because of it, because those looks of confusion and awe toward the entire community make us an enigma of hope, I think. That there are people out there who care enough about books still to be into them to a hardcore extreme years after the last book has been released, to organize meetings and discuss the books and movies, to plan events and base them off of things that happen in the series, and to actually write music about them that started its own genre? Insane. A miracle, if you ask me.

I've ranted about the Harry Potter/wizard rock fandom before and although in some aspects I kind of feel like repeating myself (since no one reads this anyway, LOL), but I'm going to continue. Two Saturdays ago I played my fourth wizard rock show. (www.myspace.com/ispeaktree) :) It was definitely one of the best fandom experiences I've had. By the way, Blogspot keeps telling me that "fandom" should be corrected as "random." I'd have thought that a site like this would be warmed up to the word, but I guess not. Anyway, people were really supportive at the show, which was with 3 other wizard rock bands that I've looked up to for Merlin knows how long. The gratitude I feel from their appraisal is something I couldn't have gained if I didn't venture out and make my own wizard rock band on my own. I never thought I could do it by myself, but I am. And if it takes being along to succeed right now, well, I'M GONNA DO IT.

I'm in the process of restarting a Pittsburgh chapter of the Harry Potter Alliance. Why? Because I'm sick of feeling that ever since the last chapter we had died, we're nothing. We're definitely not, and I feel like we can rekindle the fire of what we once had and be something even larger and more powerful than before. After all, it's the Order of the PHOENIX for a reason. And like Harry implied, every famous and great wizard started out as simply a student. If someone else can do it, you can do it too - even better.

I wish I felt this inspired every day. Sometimes I get ideas to write at night and then in the morning I feel like a completely different person. I just wish I would get more incentive to rush to my computer and blog when I felt all those crazy emotions that I do when I write. Oh, well. It'll miracle-ize someday. New word.



Also, I'd like to point out how much (and how long) this made me laugh earlier:



Simply wonderful.

NaNoWriMo count: 41,551